Everyday I wake up INTENDING to live better, more intelligently and with greater purpose than I did the day before. I am naturally a morning person so waking up is easy for me. It's my best time of the day. I am sharp, bright and awake. The day is full of possibilities. It isn't until I step out my bedroom door to the war zone we like to call our house that I realize I am only one person. And it appears as though, I am the ONLY person who seems to give a hoot that the house might give an outsider the impression that we've recently been under some sort of attack.
Awhile back, I purchased a url. I decided to hire a blog designer (thank you SimplyKlassic) and get started sharing myself and my experiences with those who cared to listen, or in this case read. While we worked on my design, I started coming up with all kinds of ideas. I found it interesting that these ideas would FLOOD in while I was drying my hair each day. Funny place for inspiration, but hey, I'll take it where I can get it. Then I realized this is the ONLY time of my day where I am not thinking of a million to dos' or worrying about this or that. At that moment, I am just focused on me. As many of you moms out there would agree, we don't get much of THAT kind of time when raising little ones.
I just turned 38 years old. I have five children, four boys and one girl. Their ages range from 2 to 16. I own and operate my own children's resale website, www.babyoutfitter.com, my husband runs his own company as well. It just seems as though we are always busy, always running behind and I am starting to realize this isn't the best scenario for me. Nothings getting done, laundry is piling up, and we've been eating fast food way too much. I started to realize I needed more structure, more balance and more PROGRESS.
I am learning about myself each and everyday. I just feel as though there is still so much to be discovered, despite the fact that I have been getting to know ME since birth. But, there are is one thing I do know, without a shadow of a doubt. I am a procrastinator. I procrastinate not because I am lazy, but because I want everything I do to be perfect, or at least to the best of my ability. I have an all or nothing mentality. I'm either all in or I'm sidelining myself until I feel it's time to jump in the game and score big. This behavior is BOTH a strength and a weakness. I'll certainly be coming back to the topic of strengths and weakness in the near future.
I am looking for a way to exist in my life to the point that I am content and able to positively touch the lives of those around me. I'm able to get out of my own skin and unplug from my own problems, long enough to see the needs of others and to respond with kindness to those needs. Notice, I didn't say that I want to be HAPPY. I am satisfied with just contentment - desiring no more than I have.
I realized recently that I am not living with intention. I am a spectator in my life, not a participant. In my mind, things are happening TO me. I'm sad way too much. I feel that there is a desparity between the me I am and the me I want to be. I have dreams. I want to do things, accomplish things. But, life gets in the way. Things come up. The kids get sick. You know how it goes. I am searching for a way to take all those things in stride, the good with the bad, in a more level-headed and prepared fashion. I am deciding to be proactive, be my own solution to my problems. Is this THE answer I'm looking for? Who knows? But, it does sound good, right?
I just know that life is hard. And more often than not sharing with others makes it easier, makes is enjoyable, helps you realize that you are more than you think and that you can affect change. You can succeed in life no matter what your definition of success is. I'm not looking to make a fortune, or be someone TMZ reports about, if you can call that reporting. What I am looking for is purpose, meaning, intent and contentment. If you are looking for those things in your life as well, stay tuned. We can seek them out together.
I decided I wanted a place to share my experience and foster creativity, something that has been missing in my life for some time. I wanted to take a step back and breathe it all in, to pause and reflect. I began with a thought to journal. I have heard that writing can be quite healing. But, I wanted to share with others. I wanted feedback. And so, KateInProgress Living a life of Purpose on Purpose was born.
I plan to strive for less I'm gonnas and more I dids. Talk less do more. I plan to share good ideas and great sources along the way. I plan to share frustrations and occassionally offer advise. I plan to offer encouragement to the discouraged. But, most of all I promise to be real doing all of it.
So, I have decided to break the seal on this little blog of mine with the dirty truth about my life, I don't have it all together. I don't know if I ever did nor if I ever will. What I can tell you is I will always be pursuing a life of purpose and a feeling that I am contributing to this world in a postive manner. I want to leave this world knowing it was a better place because I was here. That I mattered. God have given us all a unique purpose. I am one of those that hasn't figured out their purpose just yet. Until I do, I'm going to keep on keepin' on. God can use me and He will. I don't need to be thinner, or happier or a better mom. I just need to be me, because that's enough.
Kate
